Happy Almost Feliz Cumpleanos to me!

In about two hours from now, I'll officially be 36 years old, so I thought it only fitting to post the last self-portraits I did at the tender young age of 35. One of my favorite photogs issued a self-portrait challenge on her blog several weeks ago so I thought I'd participate just for kicks. I LOVE trying new things! I learned a few things about myself in the self-portrait challenge:

1. I raise one of my eyebrows ALOT without even realizing it. Reviewing the images revealed this little know fact to me.
2. Shooting self-portraits is very difficult because you lose all control of the composition when you're not behind the lens. It was a good exercise for me to practice letting go of trying to control all the elements of an image. As challenging as this was for me, it also produced some very fun, 'happy accidents' in composition. Good reminder to release and surrender control to expand my creative capacity. :-)
3. I am WAY too critical of my appearance in photographs. I consistently found things I didn't like about the angle or asymmetry of my face, my teeth, my eyebrows, you name it! Let's just say that it became really apparent that I needed to get that negative voice in my head in check. As they say in yoga, "Practice and all is coming" and practice I will. It's my intention to practice giving myself the kind of grace I'm so willing to give those around me.

Without further ado, here is my photographic tribute to my 35th year of life ...

Thoughts on Transformation

This short film really captured so much of what I've been feeling and exploring in 2009, whether it be through yoga, photography, motherhood, friendship, being in relationship with God and others ... you name it. These themes have been whirling and swirling around my head as I search for a way to be content with who I am and where I am in my life journey and yet still extend my reach in an effort to live life more fully, to be more deeply connected and rooted in God's love. I love his closing thoughts at the end of the film, so simple and yet so true that it bears repeating ...
"Just be patient.
Keep on going.
Transformation takes time and, from what I've seen in my life,
it really IS worth the wait."
Amen, brotha!

Life, photography & Kiera

I came across Kiera's blog by happy accident, but after I had perused her images, I continued to follow her blog intentionally. I loved the way she experimented with mood, light, shadow and composition. I enjoyed reading her thoughts on life, motherhood and photography, too. We occasionally emailed back and forth, sharing inspirational ideas and thoughts around photography and even though we had never met, I felt like I could relate to her and I was hoping to meet her in person. We arranged a get-together when I was visiting my hometown and, thankfully, all the stars were aligned in order to make that happen.

I'm so grateful for that experience because it filled my cup in so many ways. It has been way too long since I've let go of my expectations around the art that I produce and allowed myself to explore my practice of photography, unfettered by a fear of 'failure'. It can be a real stumbling block for me at times, but I'm making progress towards freeing myself from that perfectionist drive. I have noticed that one of the great gifts of my yoga practice is that the lessons I'm learning 'on the mat' are slowly infusing into other areas of my life 'off the mat', like photography. I am learning that I don't have to be great or the best or always better. I can let messy, inconsistent life be what it is and I can even find delight in that on my good days. I can explore, create, and imagine without being so tied into the outcome. I can focus more easily on the process and the transition, which shapes and refines me in wondrous ways.

Kiera, you are a gem and a beauty and I'm so thankful I finally got to connect with you. Your open-hearted and generous spirit was so much fun to be around. Thank you for sharing yourself with me! Looking forward to next time!! :-)

P.S. Check out my Flickr for more images from this sesh ... http://www.flickr.com/photos/28577570@N05/sets/72157621326772235/

Welcome to the hood, Daddio!

Dear Dad,
We tried to order good weather for your visit this week, but we got some rain anyway. Mother Nature is stubborn like that. It was probably a good thing because it slowed us down a bit and made us cross off a few things from our 'to do' list which gave us more time to sit and visit while you were here.

I loved seeing you play with the girls, tickling and teasing them ... two of their favorite things in the world, I might add. You've got their number! Ava loved the extra special attention she got while you patiently encouraged and instructed her in the finer points of riding a bike sans training wheels. She's looking forward to the next lesson at your house this summer!

Our girls are so lucky to have such a kind and loving grandpa, one that engages them and is interested in them, loves and cares for them. Thank you for being such a loving presence in all of our lives. We are so glad you could come and spend a little time at our pad, in our neck of the woods, getting a sense of the rhythm and pace of life with the Sopah Sistahs (it's flat-out crazy, isn't it?!?). Crazy in a good way, though. :-) We really hope you can come back and join our version of crazy again soon!

Love you lots and lots,

Holly-girl

The big OH-Five!

Yes, it's true, our sweet l'il baby bean turned five last week. We had a few of her friends over to make butterfly mobiles with Gma Bunny, get spa treatments from Caroline & Lily & stuff themselves with more than their fair share of sugar. Thanks to Gma Bunny's sage advice, the whole thing was so relaxed and 'old-school', meaning no fancy games, tricks, or party venues. It was one of my favorite birthday parties to date! I always feel a sort of self-imposed pressure to make the girls birthday celebrations exciting and/or spectacular in some way, when in fact, a simple party with friends and a few fun games and a little sugar thrown in for good measure is really all that a great celebration requires. Note to self: repeat the experience again!

One of the funnier moments from the party happened when my mom was holding the cake, complete with lit candles, out in front of Ava so that I could snap a picture of it and the cake unexpectedly began a quick slide off the cardboard and into the lap of one of the party attendees. Luckily, the cake was caught before it made it's final descent onto the little girl's dress, but the look on her face when she saw this fireball of a cake headed straight for her lap was priceless. Needless to say, we all breathed a huge sigh of relief when we realized we had averted certain disaster!

Ava was her sweet, happy, girlish self ... so delighted by every little thing. She is pure joy and pure lovely, that kid. I wish I could say that I had something to do with it, but I know the truth is that I didn't. She came out of the womb that way and, boy oh boy, am I glad that she did. We love that you joined our family five short years ago, sweet girl. How did we ever do life without you???

Kisses & luvs,
Your grateful mum

Happy Mum's Day!

I love ...
that you're as addicted to Photoshop as I am
the color of your eyes and the shape of your nose
that you're incredibly stoic, especially when I'm not
your beautiful stories ... written, spoken & photographed
the fact that you make daily running a priority in your life
your thoughts and your wise observations
it when people say that I resemble you in any way
your kind and empathetic way with people
that we share an undying love for Diet Pepsi
that you teach me everything you know about photography
how you always see the very best in me
sharing decadent desserts with you
that you're spiritually generous and open-minded
your laughter and the way your smile lights up your face
that you like to shoot from the hip on our travels together
the fact that we find a lot of the same things humorous
your boundless creativity
that you take moments to savor the beautiful things in life
that you remind me of who God calls me to be

but, most of all, I love
that I am blessed to call you my very own
Mom.

An Ode to Spring

Spring, Spring ... wherefore art thou, Spring???
I have been waiting,
impatiently, mind you.
Wondering what on God's green earth is taking you
so long.
I am tapping my foot,
drumming my fingers,
chewing on the edge of my lip.
I am done waiting.
Done, I tell you.
I am ready.
Time to unearth my body, my mind, my spirit.
Please don't disappoint.